negative

i realized that i am such a negative person when i am far away from God. you can see it in the way i act, talk, even walk. i can wear a mask with the best of them tho and tell you everything is a-ok. and i hate it. i hate it because i dont deserve it. i dont deserve this love.. this grace. He is the only thing that moves me lately. He is the only thing i can hold on to. 

on a lighter note, i just started reading the third twilight book. okokok before you think i'm crazy, they are actually a good read. so far i have really enjoyed the story line and the way that that stephanie meyer writes. i realized that theres not that many things better than reading a good book, wrapped up in a blanket on a cold day. now if i just had a cup of coffee in my hands, i think i would be absolutely content in life. :)